I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
