I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
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