Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
