Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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