hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
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