I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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