Midget sex pt 2 tonight
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
