Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
