Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
