Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Randomize
