Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
