It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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