I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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