Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
