I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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