He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Randomize
