god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Randomize
