My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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