Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
