I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
