Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Randomize
