Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
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