Nicole vs. Life
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
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