Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
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