After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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