I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
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