I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
