I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
