Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
