i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
