Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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