i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
