youre lurking in front of me
They should really pass out barf bags in church
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
