Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
tell me about the fingering
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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