What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
