K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Randomize
