don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
