that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
