Apparently you make a good broom.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
