I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
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