S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
