she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
