I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
