At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
