I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
this will be a night to untag.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
whose ass print is on the piano?
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Randomize
