Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Randomize
