Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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