I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
