Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
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