We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Randomize
