Plan B is the new Plan A
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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