omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Randomize
